Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday, November 04, 2011


Well it had to happen sooner or later I guess. The 'Adolf Hitler' video has another new script this time featuring both American Drew Noyes and his friend Dane Niels Colov, both of whom have  newspapers, property companies, and legal offices in Pattaya. This comes to you courtesy of 'Pattayascams'. I don't know who they are, but they have their hands full.

There is also this: Colonel Gaddafi Reads the Pattaya Times

And whoops I have been subject to new overnight attacks from a mobile phone in Pattaya.

But suspect they are coming as a result of this latest Pattayascammers video. Don't worry pattayascammers. I can deal with them.

Dirty Dog threatens Adolf.

In reality though the Pattaya City Expats Club is bogged down in a septuagenarian ostrich state of indecision. Chancers in their midst? Well what about the Masons, the Rotary, etc?

Many years ago, and I have to stress this, the local Masonic Lodge had 12 members who were on an NCIS (the British National Criminal Intelligence Service) Watch List. That was before Scot Martin Frutin joined, complete with conviction in Edinburgh for possessing child pornography.

But, who cares?

Peace breaks out in Pattaya - No War Say Media Barons

First salvo fired in Thai newspaper war

An American businessman, myriad lies, and influential people

Arise Sir Colov


  1. I like the way this whole thing is shaping up into extreme silliness. Serious farang vs farang stuff never breaks in the Thai language press. If this Noyse stuff succeeds in being as as silly as Jeff Savage, it might just break. I'm not holding my breath, but Noyse and his supporters/'friends'would lose face hand over fist if this stuff, if this story broke in all its totally absurd detail. Thais love a complex plot that borders on high farce and involves foreigners taking extreme pratfalls. Whether it be Jeff Savage or the Saudi diplomats.

  2. There is now a Qaddafi version around, equally hilarious.

  3. A serious case of libel has been committed in this video, Mr Drummond is not English - I suggest you file a complaint immediately!

  4. Strikes me that this video is far more interesting, even perhaps allowing for the fact that PS is obviously no friend of Howard. Indeed, where else would foreign police Volunteers be allowed to actually manhandle suspects?

  5. Both videos are a good laugh, I prefer the Gaddafi version. It will be interesting to see if all this attention has an effect on Mr Noyes attitude and businesses.

  6. Gaddafi video classic - ""It is not the intention of this video to offend anyone by implying that they had associations with those that are despised on a global scale, therefore we apologise to the Gaddafi family in advance""... Love it!!

  7. As a long time visitor to Thailand who has rarely visited Pattaya I've never had the pleasure of meeting any of the characters who feature so much in your writing Andrew.

    All appear to have emerged from a background in their home country they wished to escape. A quick google reveals Howard Miller was a part time dj in Southend prior to his new found fame as newsman,broadcaster and Hon Consul. His broadcasting and writing style is certainly original. Here an example from his interview with Stickman.
    ""Captain Somchai Imnotcorrupt, 43 year old cop with 20 years experience was munching on his som tum purchased from vendor Ba Wee when he received a report from room 308, third floor of the such and such a hotel, 300 metres along Second Road that a farang had leapt to his death?""
    looking back on my days with the BBC and Reuters I fear we may have missed a trick or two.

    However I guess the point I am trying to make is that all the movers and shakers in Pattaya appear to be more university of life than conventionally educated and are in Thailand because they would either be unemployed or the focus of the authorities if they were in their own country.

    Keep up the good work. Drew must be getting very annoyed with you by now.

  8. Thanks Mike. Actually Mike I have nothing against Howard Miller and wrote quite a nice piece on him recently when he resigned as Hon Con, which unfortunately was over-written. For my first ten years in Thailand I only went to Pattaya once or twice. Now its more often. Noyes annoyed? According to one of his local associates Thais are avoiding him because the smile has gone. And those who are informed do not know what to say.
    I believe 'farang' paper owners in Pattaya are more scared than the Thai ones becuase they do not know what they can publish or not. without upsetting those in power. This precludes any investigations.
    The crooks of course toady to the powers that be at their readers' expense.

  9. Drummond, this latest takes it to a whole new level of ""Gonzo"" journalism ! Don't you dare stop !!

  10. I always did wonder which bit of england a scottish journalist would come from

  11. I enjoy your reporting and wish to add that Niels Colov (Pattaya People publisher) had his car *given* to him by a Euro newspaper that printed defamatory comments about his past which proved to be untrue. Noyes either was the source and/or repeated the claims in writing for anyone who would listen locally.

    Colov did not pursue him legally but Noyes is too afraid to say anything to the negative so now they buried the hatchet. Colov is the top dog in this town.

  12. BobBOb: Shome mishtake shurely

  13. Yes I was going to use that old Private Eye phrase but you beat me to it Andrew.

    Nils and Howard might be Walter Mitty type characters but they are not deceiving anyone. In fact if they hired a couple of journo graduates straight out of a course like City in London or Cardiff they could sit back and take the product to a more professional level. I have to say that as a broadcast journo of over 35 years experience Howard and Nils have not got what it takes to be front of house.

    Of course Drew could not go down this road as his business model is taking money with often no results and claiming to have a legal background. In the UK we call that fraud and you will go to prison.

    Drew has the misfortune of being a US citizen and as such being subject to the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

    The anti-bribery provisions of the FCPA prohibit:
    Issuers, domestic concerns, and any person from making use of interstate commerce corruptly, in furtherance of an offer or payment of anything of value to a foreign official, foreign political party, or candidate for political office, for the purpose of influencing any act of that foreign official in violation of the duty of that official, or to secure any improper advantage in order to obtain or retain business.
    [edit]Persons subject to the FCPA
    Includes any U.S. or foreign corporation that has a class of securities registered, or that is required to file reports under the Securities and Exchange Act of 1934
    Domestic concerns
    Refers to any individual who is a citizen, national, or resident of the United States and any corporation and other business entity organized under the laws of the United States or having its principal place of business in the United States
    Any person covers both enterprises and individuals

    Two American citizens went to prison for bribing the former head of tourism in Thailand.

    Drew Noyes may feel he is outside the laws of the USA but as an American citizen he faces US law wherever he goes in the world.

    An orange jumpsuit may just wipe that smile from his face.

  14. Mike: Not right to put Howard and Mr. Colov into the same category.

  15. I'm puzzled by your reply Andrew.

    ""Not right to put Howard and Mr. Colov into the same category""

    Does that mean Howard is better or worse. or do you mean neither are the same as Mr Noyes?

    Whatever you are a brave man to work in this climate. I can think of safer jobs that do not involve the farang mafia in Thailand.

    On this side of the world the Murdoch/News International saga continues to generate headlines every day. The result will be a different type of investigative journalism with more emphasis on the journo doing the digging and less on the cash for info side of things.

    As the prime tourist season is near can you expose the Phuket/Pattaya jet ski scams and in the case of the former the taxi mafia?

  16. Mike I did not think I needed to specify. But there is no common ground between Howard and Nils Colov. While he may not have had media experience its quite clear Howard came from an honest background in the UK and has consistently, despite his critics and restrictions, some self imposed, tried to do an honest job in Thailand. There is no suggestion he uses his media outlets for self glorification and one rarely sees him out posing with local 'dignitaries' publicising his own charity work.
    Colov has a different history entirely and uses his media outlets for his own aggrandisement and to net punters.
    One affect of the demise of the News of the World is in fact that newspapers are spending less and less on investigations.
    The 'MPs Expenses Scandal', if you are not aware, was in fact a 'bought in' investigation which had been offered to the News of the World.
    In fact the trend shows that investigations are now coming out of professional blogs with newspapers re-running them at little expense.
    Its thankless, often dodgy, but rewarding in its own ways and its what in one way or another I have been doing since I became a journalist.
    Pre-1985 despite its penchant for naughty vicars, and massage parlours, the NoW was going after solid targets with included the Flying Squad.
    That all went with the hiring of a series of juvenile editors (Murdoch wanted the youth readership) filling the paper with showbiz exposes and others often related to British TV soaps without providing the worthy investigations which justified the paper's existence.
    Along with that, rising to power were a couple of journalists, with major ambitions, but little moral substance, working with an already suspect senior executive.
    The atmosphere at Wapping was such that other staff were scared to do anything about it.
    By not doing so they heralded their own demise.
    The only newspaper investigation at the moment seems to be the continuing one into the NoW.
    To a certain extent we are all enjoying it. The other side of the coin is that newspapers are filling their pages with safe stuff at as low a cost as possible.

  17. Andrew,

    I am sure you have seen the unimaginably vile ""comments"" on the Pattaya Times website that were obviously posted by Drew Noyes himself. As Barry Kenyon pointed out, when confronted by verifiable facts and evidence of their wrongdoing, all that a miscreant like Noyes can do is to lash out with desperate, pathetic insults. Drew knows very well that his past has finally caught up with him and he's finished in Thailand. Although I wish you and his victims the best in pursuing legal or criminal action against him, I suspect that his end will be brought about by just being flat broke and unable to find new suckers because he's become the village idiot of Pattaya. Based on his constant requests to borrow money, I'm sure that Pattaya is very close to achieving Noyes abatement.

  18. It's funny that the only comments posted ever in the history of that website seem to be related to Drummond.. The website is clearly as fake as Noyes and his newspaper and according to Alexa stats it's even less popular than

  19. Elsbeth Morag McRhubarbNovember 10, 2011 at 12:52 AM

    I think we need a closer look at the City Expats Club.

    Why are they constantly endorsing Noyes even with all the confirmed instances of appalling practice?

    Who are the people who run it?

    I think we should be told.

  20. I do wish your correspondents would stop being silly about Howard Miller. He was once a disc jockey and, as it happens, I was once a doorman in a 1960s gay nightclub in Manchester before Howard was born. Really big minuses eh? For the record I once kicked out a drunken pop star Long John Baldry and nurse the souvenir to this day - a broken finger.
    Howard currently runs by far the best Pattaya based internet news site whilst the recent and anticipated fizzling of his newspaper Pattaya One was a simple error of delegation in the opinion of many. Howard was a good honorary consul - with UK governmental security clearance Mr Flynn please note - and far better at obeying daft orders from on high than ever I was as his predecessor in an admittedly overlong tenure. He was top dog in the Pattaya foreign tourist police assistants for many years and his sparkling performance in an allied TV series was responsible for changing many people's perceptions. Indeed, not a week passes even now but that passers-by on the Walking Street go to the tourist police minibus and ask to shake his hand (he left in 2010). Incidentally I don't see Howard socially. I have had two meals with him in my entire life and I paid for both of us on each occasion. Your turn next Howard.

  21. Elsbeth,the reason that the Expat club wont do anything about Drew Noyes is because they are all old and most of them have their wills, companies for house ownership etc provided by the crack legel team at PAPPA ""law"" office. Plus they are still baffled by his bullshit. Drew prefers to target the elderly as they are easy targets.

  22. Oh dear Norman, that's a little bit worrying. I had my will done in Bangkok for 5,000 yet Noyes is charging 10,000. More worrying is a letter from a Scotsman who has been following Drew Noyes advice as to how to buy a house. The Scotsman admits to going through periods of depression. His name is Joseph McCluskey,from Ayr, and he has a home in The Village, Pattaya.
    On reading a Drew Noyes advice column he bought his house in a company name. Shortly afterwards there was a lot of publicity in Thailand saying that this was illegal (if the company was not genuine and operating etc).
    McCluskey, who is 74 years old, then went to Drew Noyes to ask for advice. Noyes told him:
    ""Joseph, don't worry. I have an associate company which can take over onwership of the house and you can live in it for the rest of your life. What's more we will give you a lump sum?'
    What was the lump sum?

    200,000 baht.

    Joe should tell that to the Pattaya City Expats Club!

  23. I was handing out rice and other goods in a slum area of Pattaya on Tuesday and a backfiring smoky old Nissan pulled up. A noisy American got out and started screaming at some of the children to hurry up and get their things in the old rustbucket. In the trunk were numerous shopping bags with cheap suits stuffed into them amongst other things.The ten children couldn't all fit in the old Nissan so the American got in the drivers seat, a young girl with a Buffolo Bar uniform got in the front seat while they put 6 of the children in the back. Another woman arrived and they put the other 4 children on the motorbike with her. They then headed in the direction of the Cambodian border. Has anybody seen Drew lately?

  24. Drew at it again picking on the elderly.Poor Joe,another of Drew Noyes victims.

  25. How is it that this conman of Pattaya can stay in Thailand. Ok ,so he rips off old foriegners, Thai police are not too concerned. I would imagine that falsely quoting police and printing it in your newspaper would be grounds to kick him out. And what about falsely claiming to be assisting thr Thai king when running a sex for sale bier bar in soi 2 Pattaya?

  26. Magnus,I saw Drew Noyes having a drink with Dirty Dog in Soi 6 Pattaya on Monday night. Farewell drinks maybe. Lets hope so.

  27. Does anybody think that Drew will feel bad and give Joe his house back? Drew Noyes printed in his newspaper only a month ago that there was no issue in Chonburi with buying a house in a company set up. I am sure he didnt tell poor old Joe that though when he saw the oppurtunity to rip off another elderly gentleman.As it stands Drew is now the owner of a house in Pattaya that he only paid 6000 USD for. Asshole,complete genuine asshole.

  28. Are recommendations for lawyers and property companies part of the advice to be given out by the new honary consuls in Pattaya. Proabably not, but they could make themselves useful by going down that road and extending their brief to protect UK taxpayers who have paid British diplomatic salaries in the past.

  29. Darren...perhaps Drew and Eric are negotiating terms for taking over the old gents house. Eric is a crack builder...leaves lotsa maybe they are getting together and taking up residence, co-habitation. They just have to work out who does the cooking and who does the cleaning.