WAR DRUMS BEAT ON THAI EASTERN SEABOARD AS ANGRY BRAVE CANCELS POW WOW
ANDREW DRUMMOND, BANGKOK February 19 2012
A native American who invested a million baht in a Pattaya newspaper is on the warpath after all he got was a useless press card and a jacket.
The Californian 'Red Indian', who has asked to be referred to simply as Geronimo because he does not wish to embarrass fellow Native Americans, was convinced by American Drew Noyes, publisher of the 'Pattaya Times', that his newspaper empire would take off with different editions all over Thailand.
Noyes, said Geronimo, claimed it was a sure fire investment and that he had five other buyers all chomping at the bit and comprising mostly very well-known Thai and foreign businessmen and politicians.
But as it turned out there was no other investor, because other people did due diligence. Further there are serious questions being raised about the newspaper's future. Geronimo appears to be the only investor.
When Geronimo complained Noyes said he would be reporting the 'criminal' redskin to all cowboys, US, Mexican and Thai officials.
Noyes with two squaws in Ho-Chi-Minh-City. Note the Bangkok International Film Festival shirt.
Noyes boasts the Pattaya Times is the third biggest English language newspaper in Thailand with a circulation of 500,000 (actually ten times the circulation of the Bangkok Post the actual largest English language newspaper) The print run has never exceeded 10,000, and there is no evidence of sales of more than 500. Advertising is minimal.
Although Geronimo has never written any stories, some of the writing does however look like it was transmitted to the paper by fire, damp grass, and a blanket.
Downtime in Saigon - Newspaper baron Noyes woos second squaw with the same baguette.
For his million baht all Geronimo has to show is a 'Pattaya Times' press card and a Pattaya Times jacket.
He says he was refused access to the papers accounts and, when he then asked for his money back, Noyes circled his wagons and gave a reply - the nature of which countless people are now familiar.
Ah, that's more like it. All squaws love me. But Noyes gets tough below:
Noyes' Reply:'Want to play rough? You better be tough!
'First we will get (edited) for lying and theft, then (edited) for lying and blogging, then (edited) for lying, then you for lying and filing a false report (and some other things we know about).
'You have no honor at all that is why you will always be alone. Maybe it's time to expose you, your admitted criminal activities, financial background and wierd lifestyle to all cowboys and Indians and Mexican, US and Thai officials?
'Also, You should have someone read the bottom of the Thai form you signed at DBD. It says if you lie on your statement you go to jail. Also we have records of your understanding that the investment value in the paper is to build it up and sell it at hopefully a profit.
'Since you filed a false report about the paper you are hurting its sales value.
(Right: Rather optimistic readership claim.)
That is, until the court hearing over your false statements if we decide to press charges as we have been instructed to do by DBD.
We give you one chance to apologise. Offer expires Monday afternoon.' (Spelling corrected)
Needless to say the deadline has passed and Geronimo has not apologised and the Department of Business Development has not told Drew Noyes to press charges.
And he can hardly blame Geronimo for the fall of the Pattaya Times, a, ahem, partner paper of the Bangkok Post.
In fact Geronimo actually signed the share transfer deal with Noyes' squaw Wanrapa Boonsu (Kung pictured here) but all his dealings were with Noyes.
Said Geronimo. "Pale face with many squaws speak with fork tongue."
" Pale face must know. We have the right hand that strikes and makes for evil, and we have the left hand full of kindness, near the heart.
"One foot may lead us to an evil way, the other foot may lead us to a good. So are all things two, all two.
"White man must return what is not his or the Great Spirit say there will be many unhappy rabbits. He say Noyes hat size is 59 metric or 7.3/8".
"Great Spirit also say he who believe this pale face must also believe river run backwards.
"He who loves his temper loses his friend. He who lies, loses himself'.*
Footnote: A press card issued by the Department of Public Relations costs 60 baht. But then again you have to be a journalist.
* A rather liberal review of native American sayings mingled with self interpretation and how Red Indians spoke in Spaghetti westerns many years ago. Geronimo's real quotes had to be modified for a family readable story. He is as pissed off as his namesake was.
American publisher and myriad lies