Thursday, October 17, 2013

Thursday, October 17, 2013


(Picture the Koh Samui Dream Team -David Hanks, lawyer, Goudie)
A British citizen who was been operating a law firm in Thailand claiming to a British barrister and former Captain in the Royal Marines said he will not go to Pattaya Provincial Court to present a  case against the journalist who exposed him.

Brian Goudie, 47, who was jailed in Australia for six years under the name Goldie  for defrauding his employees and spent time in Hakea Prison, WA, instead appointed as his representative David Hanks, 65, former boss of the Masquerades Brothel in Keysborough, Victoria.

Today at Pattaya the case was adjourned for a month.

Hanks has taken a case against Andrew Drummond for calling him a former pimp – but at a hearing yesterday he admitted he was the licensed owner of the Masquerades in Keysborough, a suburb of Melbourne.

Goudie, from Falkirk, went to Australia under the name he was born with Brian James Goldie in the 1990’s not long before Scottish Police issued a warrant of arrest for him for an alleged fraud on the Royal Bank of Scotland.
'Do I look like a barrister or a commando?'- Goudie has his picture taken at Koh Samui court.
He also claimed to be a Captainof the Royal Marines - some are on the island at the moment and not happy
 with him. Goudie's name is upon British services forums.

He was ordered to leave Australia after serving his sentence on three counts of stealing from his employers and went to America where he boasted he had sold a system to the U.S. Navy to clean all their guns – Cleenbore.

He later turned up in Thailand where he opened a law firm Alba Laws with supposed offices in Bangkok, Koh Samui, and Pattaya. Recently he has not been seen anywhere near addresses, an office service, a pub formerly owned by Belfast drugs dealer Jimmy 'Doc'Halliday, and a deserted house,  but instead spends most of his time in Koh Samui commuting between Lamai, Bophut and Chaweng.

Last week David Hanks was in Koh Samui with Goudie.  On his return this week Hanks boasted that he was a friend of Scot Walter ‘Whacky’ Douglas, (once wanted by police forces of three countries in connection with drugs) as was Goudie, and announced there would be a reception committee for Drummond when he attended court there, where Goudie is presenting similar charges.
A youthful pensioner David Hanks, former owner of the Masquerades Brothel in Melbourne on the town with girls in
 Koh Samui - and Brian Goudie.Hanks has had beauty treatment at the Thonglor Clinic which American Drew Noyes
has been accused of conspiracy to extort. His treatment coincided with Noyes' alleged attempt to screw the clinic for
7 million Thai baht.

Goudie has already had libel charges against Andrew Drummond dismissed at Pattaya Court.

He is suing Drummond for reproducing a story about him in the Scottish Sunday Mail and claiming he is a felon on the run.


No such claim has been made on Drummond’s website nor was it likely to be. The arrest warrant issued over 20 years has been withdrawn now obviously - not least because all the persons named in it , with the exception of Goudie, are in Australia, which is as it should be following old traditions.

Its been a good week and thanks again to so many people who have supported me and a couple of special people who have in fact stopped me going to jail because of the bail demands in these cases.


  1. Doesn't GOLDIE....look fat!
    Wanks looks...well....PLASTIC....

  2. Actually Hanks looks bloody good for 65yo.

    Hope I look that good at that age and don't fall apart or melt some time afterwards.

  3. I just love these plastic wannabe gangsters who boast about all their hard mates and associates. Who is Hanks trying to fool? He's 65 years old and looks like he couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. He's been so overly botoxed, lifted and smoothed, his face looks tighter than three coats of paint. In the top photo he is looking like a bull terrier with those slanty eyes. I wonder if his beauty clinic treatment included sack tightening. A smoothly buffed face is no good if the chunders come off revealing gravity has taken its toll on the bollocks. I wonder if he asked for a pensioners discount?

    Goldie has a kind face, the kind I'd like to carve my name on with a stanley knife. I can't help feeling a village somewhere is missing it's idiot. Hanks seems to be a fan boy of D grade villains, why in God's name would he offer to stand in for a nobody like Goldie? Some kind soul should open a lawn bowls club in Thailand so these old fogeys like Hanks can have something to do apart from following Noyes and Goldie around like some conman groupie.

    Imagine being at the bar with Noyes, Goldie and Hanks! It would be like being in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' or being in Sigmund Freuds waiting room. A fake lawyer, another fake lawyer and his other personality as the marine commando and Hanks the retired brothel keeper. Kind of like a perverted version of the three stooges.

  4. The was once was a bonnie lad from Girvan
    Whose face looked like he'd run into a mini-van
    David Hanks was his name
    The flesh trade was his game
    Off the backs of poor women he earned
    Any sense of shame was spurned
    To Thailand he quickly fled
    His goal to renovate his head
    What about my saggy bollocks he cried
    I can't preform miracles the Dr replied
    A friend of Noyes and Goldie he readily became
    Which revealed to one and all he was mentally lame
    To the judge he lied and lied
    Making this dear reader contemplate homicide
    One day soon the courts will have their say
    Because every dog has his day.............

    1. His parents named him Bonnie Brian Goldie
      He went on the lam to Oz to enjoy a coldie
      We don’t want your type the Aussies duly cried
      So he fled to Thailand and Goldie quietly died
      I’m now Goudie of the Bailey he loudly boasted
      Sadly his poor victims bank accounts were roasted
      A Royal Marine Captain he claimed to be
      A load of bollocks even the blind could see
      The problem now for poor old Bonnie Brian
      Is people want to re-arrange his face with a tyre-iron
      Brian is certainly a very bad seed
      We have all witnessed his devious greed
      He has made friends with David and Drew
      A merger that makes you want to spew
      One day soon they’ll all be done
      Either from a blade or the barrel of a gun
      Not a tear will be shed and nobody will hanker
      For we all know Brian is a total wanker

  5. What the heck is this Wanks guy doing? He perjured, discredited and humiliated him self in the Noise case now he's representing (being the fall guy in plain English) Goldie in his cases in Pattaya. His ease and willingness to put his head on the block for these two fraudsters is disturbing.

    1. His creditors are coming after him to pay up for all the plastic surgery he's had. He is desperate for cash no matter how he gets it. If he doesn't come through they're going to repo his face.

    2. Perhaps Mr Hanks is trying to give a new meaning to "Menage a Trois" and get it into the Oxford English Dictionary

  6. Now let me see what I have learned from this site during the past few months. There are a number of foreigners knocking around Pattaya who are best avoided. They have in common: 1) They had amazingly successful careers in their first countries. 2) They have been amazingly successful and respectable in Thailand too, collecting accolades, diplomas and medals galore. 3) They know many policemen, lawyers etc. 4) They have many photos of themselves taken with ambassadors, generals and the like. 5) They have links with the Pattaya media. Fine. But wait a minute. I have just described my bloody self.

    1. I have to disagree Barry but can you give an example of any of these reprobates that have had any successful career of any sort? Goldie, ex-con and dishonest bank clerk. Noyes, failed scam artist. Hanks a pimp! . Colov, ex-con pimp and crook. I guess the only successful ones featured here are on the lighter side of the news.

  7. I think the lady doth protest too much!