The Strange Tale of Drew Noyes And The Icelandic Welsh Scot

 Bangkok September 11 2011

WARNING: If you have found this story by googling Drew Noyes – this will be in the middle of flattering but scarcely credible biographies of himself. Best just google ‘Drew Noyes’ together with ‘myriad lies’
Drew Noyes the American ‘entrepreneur’ in Pattaya has hit back at revelations on this site that many, if not most, of his claimed background credentials are false.

In fact he has taken nearly a whole page of his newspaper the ‘Pattaya Times’ for his ‘ASK Drew Noyes’ column, in which he dishes out his pearls of wisdom on Thai law, to launch a personal attack..

The article was forwarded to me by an outraged reader but on reading the libelous monologue I found it hard to suppress a few chuckles.

Mr. Noyes invented a letter from a an alleged reader called Mangus (sic) Evans, a hotel manager, of Scotland/Jomtien.

Mangus Evans (Drew Noyes) said he had read a story by ‘a wanker’ called Andrew Drummond who had written a story headlined  ‘Farmer Joe loses water-tight lease in Thailand’.

The story was so bad said Mangus that ‘the guy Drummond claimed that British officials were coming here to Thailand just to investigate how Thailand is unjust to foreigners here’.

 Magnus signed off saying: ‘Thank you and I always read your column first’.
I was going to say that ‘hotel managers’ would not usually write ‘wanker’ in letters to editors, but as this is from Pattaya, that’s something I cannot rule out. It’s almost a term of endearment down there. And Noyes is after all writing for a local audience.
 Drew Noyes then offers his legal advice to his imaginary reader the angry Scotsman, whom he now calls at last a more credible Magnus.
But Magnus still remains the most unlikely named Scotsman anybody could have dreamed up  -he could be perhaps though an Icelandic Welshman born in Glasgow.
He calls me a ‘douche’ and says I am selling all my furniture and moving from my low rent apartment in Bangkok to Malaysia. 
Drummond, he said, attacked Thailand while he, Noyes, had helped 4,500 clients and helped 20,000 foreigners for free.

(An almost identical claim made incidentally by a British property developer and fraudster Stan Fry, something of a Pattaya legend in the 90s)
Whats more, he added, Drummond travelled to Pattaya by bus…….  Ouch!

While I wrote in my story that Redbridge Council said they were sending a social worker to Thailand and the council stated this in a letter which Stanyer provided, I do not think the reason was to show how unjust Thailand is to foreigners.
Their issue. which Noyes seemed unable to grasp, is more likely to be the welfare of the children of the marriage who are in council care in the UK.
‘The British Are Coming!”

But we can see where Noyes is going with this in his transparent role as defender of Thai culture, language etc.

Drew Noyes reported: ‘It is misguided, false and just there to make Thailand look bad and show that the British are coming!  No-one is coming, certainly not the British officials Drummond claims! 
“Even if it is true, not even the British Embassy could do anything.  What could a government social worker from Essex, England do?…..
‘Well we contacted the Redbridge Council in Essex and they said they are not planning to send any social workers to Thailand!’
‘Pants on Fire!’

Well you can see another reason why I am chuckling. That must be the first time in living memory a British social worker has discussed personal matters of a ‘client’ with a ‘member of the press’ let alone the, ahem, barely coherent Pattaya Times.
And did he get his writing style while doing his degree in journalism at the University of Tennessee?

Last week we highlighted Noyes’ false claims of being a lawyer, having a journalism degree, allegations that he sold bogus shares as a stock-trader, and claims he was a sexual predator in the United States.
He had been investigated by the Wilmington Morning Star in North Carolina, part of the New York Times group, which also ran an editorial saying: “The case of Drew Noyes serves as a reminder that people aren’t always everything they seem to be……. Drew Noyes is being trailed by lawyers, a phony resume and unflattering accusations.”
Noyes rant went on and on with more bile and would have been more fun except there were lots of paragraphs like the following.

‘As set forth in the Thailand Civil and Commercial Code on Page 292, Book V (Family) Chapter IV, (Property of Husband and Wife Section) Section 1469 as translated by Professor Kamol Sandhikshetrin, LLB, MA, whereby the statute reads:

‘Any agreement concluded between husband and wife during marriage by be (sic) avoided by either of them at any time during marriage or within one year from the day of dissolution of marriage, provided that the rights of third persons acting in good faith are not affected thereby.’

Drew Noyes also seems to be getting tighter into bed with Dirty Dog, ‘Eric’, the East London webmaster at – a website which Noyes sponsors with a banner advertisment. 
(He removed his ‘American lawyer’ tag last week.)

Noyes writes: ‘One major website owner recently wrote. ‘The way to get at Andrew Drummond for writing lies about us is to publish his address on the internet every time he moves…..Kind of like they do to out pedophiles in the UK’.’
Andrew Drummond, he says, is hated by ‘real journalists’ and  businessmen in the real business of printing newspapers.  I think he means himself here?
 Photo: Ranting ‘major local webmaster’ Dirty Dog Hong Kong bound while the passenger seated next to him is perhaps now sensibly pretending to be asleep)
This is an odd marriage.  Drew Noyes tells everyone he loves Thailand and is enchanted with its culture, language etc. 

Dirty Dog,  who more than coincidentally started a post this week actually asking people to supply my address, seems not so enamoured with Thailand.  He also announced that lawyers (Noyes’) were going to Immigration to find out my address..

Dirty Dog, a real Pattaya charmer whose street vocabulary extends far beyond ‘wanker’ , started a thread ‘Fok the British Embassy is shit’ after having difficulties getting his son, whom he never registered as British citizen, a visa to Britain to brush up on his English. He did not want his son to become a ‘Thai idiot’, he said, which, I guess, is not one of the boxes one ticks on a British Visa Application Form. 

He added the British Embassy told him to adopt his son, who has a Germanic surname, and re-apply.  I’m still waiting for the reason why he has to adopt his own son, because he insists he is the father on the birth certificate.

Dirty Dog, aka Eric, is not on a charm offensive either with Thailand, as demonstrated above, or, of course wiith the British Embassy.

Meanwhile it seems Drew Noyes will be producing the ‘Pattaya Times’ himself this week if reports coming out of Pattaya are true. 
Those reports say that both his American-Chinese editor and two Filipina assistants, Rose and Aya, hopped it at the weekend. Despite his myriad claims of donating to charities, his staff are accusing him of short-changing him among other things.

But the paper, if it comes out, will not be much different than normal. It will of course be Drew Noyes under a series of different bylines interviewing himself, plus lots of local reviews to cash in on the freebies. ‘All the news I can use’.
Can’t wait for the next issue but its difficult to find one of the 500,000 copies he claims to print.
Last foreign journalist quits scandal hit Pattaya Times
An American couples’ Noyes nightmare
Read all about it – the great Thai newspaper fraud
Pattaya publisher wanted me as mistress
Thai police deny false claims theyare hunting British journalist
 How and American businessman sold homes for the Thai poor to tourists
 Exposed – Myriad of lies 
Father Christmas sues Pattaya Publisher