ANTI-VIRUS PROGRAMME INVENTED AS DEFENCE AGAINST FAKE FOREIGN LAWYERS-

Capitalising on the seven day internet silence of Pattaya Times founder American Drew Noyes some wag is now promoting a new anti-virus programme that, I guess, beats as it sweeps as it cleans.

With the files in Pattaya Provincial Court now overflowing with pictures of the man himself with the U.S. Ambassador to Thailand, the Mayor of Pattaya City, top police and immigration officials, the virus programme, Drew B Gone is being heralded as the ultimate noyes abatement product, which could be applied to deal with all fake US lawyer viruses.

The manufacturers are understood to be currently working on a second product ‘Awa-an-Bile-yer-Heid-Brian’ due to the surfeit of fake Scots lawyers in Thailand, including Messrs  Brian Goldie and Goudie, which will be an extension to the general U.K  product targeted at struck off lawyers, called,  ‘Bu-Ger-Orf-British-Law’. This product was launched in the Thai resort of Pattaya as well.

A spokesman for AVG producers of Drew B Gone said: “We expect excellent sales.

“We are targeting Embassy officials, Ambos, civic leaders, senior police and immigration officials, young girls, Filipinas, senior citizens with investment and housing issues, and health and beauty clinics, Alzheimers victims and native Americans.

“Future versions of our software ‘Detecto-Extorto’ may even allow  buyers to detect the Drew Virus even before it arrives allowing them to take the appropriate action.

“We are really excited about our new Scottish product which is a bi-product of ‘Get-Tae-Fuc-Bampot'”